: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
