Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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