My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The uberlube is also flammable
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
