I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
