It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
