their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
