I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
