get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
