Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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