Barsexuality is the new black.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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