whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
