How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
