Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
