His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
