His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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