i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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