so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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