I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize