I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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