We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
