she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Randomize
