I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
