I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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