Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I'm really busy with my period
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