So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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