420 ftw
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Randomize
