bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
