don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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