he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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