so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize