She announced her abortion via fbk
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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