in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
