Apparently you make a good broom.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
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