im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
