Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
