Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
