I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
