one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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