Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Kiss
Puke
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
