holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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