We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
