it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
