how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
