Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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