what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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