No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
