I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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