So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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