Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I FOUND THE LEGS
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
