just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
