my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
