so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
