Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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