What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
someone get that fucking seahorse.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize