K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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