So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
