Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Im part way to drunk.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
