Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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