What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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