You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
