i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
