Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
